I recently attended a legal conference sponsored by the Colorado Department of Education. I confess that I was a little nervous about attending; while it was certainly open to the public, and while I had at least two reasons to go (as a parent as well as an attorney), I still felt like I was snooping on the enemy. In some ways, the conference was reassuring. No one misstated the law (that I heard); no one said incredibly egregious things about parents (although the "angry parent" motif was quite common).
One of the sessions addressed "win-win" negotiations for special education disputes. Now, if you know me, you'll know that I loathe the phrase "win-win". With all due respect to Ury and Fisher, I think that not every dispute can happily be resolved (sometimes you both want the orange peel). Getting to Yes. That said, the presenter, attorney Jose Martin, had a number of basic points about negotiation that are (largely) worth noting:
1. Resolve differences early - before a small concern escalates into a much bigger one.
2. Select a school liaison/ombudsperson to assist parents through the confusing and anxiety-ridden IEP process. (Assign parent mentors to parents in need).
3. Prepare for potentially disputed IEP team meetings. Show up on time.
4. Prepare proposals and contingency options for each issue. Don't have one, predetermined plan. Identify and separate negotiables from "deal-breakers". Mean it.
5. Proceed from "easy" issues to "hard" ones. Build trust.
6. Refrain from direct discussion of the merits of the case. Move to offers and counteroffers as early as possible in the process.
7. In formal mediations, actively enlist the mediator in individual caucus sessions. (Sidebar: I definitely agree with this; in a recent mediation, this was really effective.)
8. Draft and formalize the agreement as you negotiate it, and make sure the terms are clear. Don't get up from the table without signing it! (Lesson learned the hard way, personally)
9. Watch for the huge initial demand strategy, and insist on bilateral compromise. (Sidebar: I don't agree with this one, perhaps in part because I don't believe that parents are really that litigious. Parents ask for what they need, and what they feel would make their child whole. Also, I think that by the time a dispute reaches mediation or litigation, parents already feel like they've made enough compromises. This one is hard.)
10. In formal mediations, deal with attorneys' fees! (No really, he said this!). ;)
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